Jerry, you need to find god
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
