pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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