Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
