I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
