I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
