i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
