put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
