yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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