if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
