Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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