she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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