Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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