went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
