And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
