You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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