If i come over, it means nothing
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
