i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
