woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
