idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
