I didn't shave. On purpose
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I wish there were birth control emojis
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
