He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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