Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
