you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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