Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Randomize
