ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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