is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
i've created a new STD.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
