Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
