If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
