We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
