I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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