If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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