I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
