I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Never joke about your clitoris.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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