we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
