i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
