How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
