My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
