Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
