His pubic hair was longer than his dick
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
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