The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
