yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
