The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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