i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
