i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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