R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
