im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
