My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
