the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I puked a lego.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
