i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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