dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
When did angry sex become our thing?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
