): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
