Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I need water and some morals
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
