so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
He's on the porch naked. Help.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
