I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
