i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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